Mixed Blessings A Guide to Multicultural and Multiethnic Relationships edition by Rhoda Berlin Harriet Cannon Health Fitness Dieting eBooks
Download As PDF : Mixed Blessings A Guide to Multicultural and Multiethnic Relationships edition by Rhoda Berlin Harriet Cannon Health Fitness Dieting eBooks 
What does it mean to have a foot in multiple cultures? Were you and your partner both born in the US? Are you from different regions of the same country? Are you from different social classes, or do you follow different spiritual practices? Did you and your partner grow up speaking different languages at home? Do people look longer at you and your partner trying to figure out why you’re together? There are both upsides and challenges to the multicultural life. Through twelve couples’ stories, Mixed Blessings gives readers new ideas and tips on how to make multicultural relationships work.
Mixed Blessings A Guide to Multicultural and Multiethnic Relationships edition by Rhoda Berlin Harriet Cannon Health Fitness Dieting eBooks
What genuinely makes a difference in a couple’s ability and willingness to nurture and maintain their relationship? Rhoda Berlin and Harriet Cannon, both highly insightful psychotherapists, address this significant question through a series of fictional case studies of multicultural and multiethnic couples.Each couple’s story demonstrates a crucial concept, such as ethnocentrism, the belief that one’s own culture is always right; cultural universal, an element, pattern or institution that is common in some form to all human cultures, such as age-related roles; and acculturation, adapting to the patterns or customs of a new culture.
Other impediments to relationship harmony that are illustrated by the couples' case studies include: cultural loss, the experience of moving out of one’s culture, social class or ethnic enclave resulting in a sense of estrangement; subculture, membership in an in-group within the majority culture, such as the military or a sorority; cultural grieving, the inability to overcome the loss from migrating to another country or marrying into a different type of family culture; cultural identity, the culture we identify with and feel as a “second skin;” and code switching, the ability to move fluently from one language and cultural context to another.
Children accomplish cultural shifts most easily, code switching from their family’s way of life to a new language or social mores within months. Middle-aged people tend to resist change, hanging on to their traditional lifeways. Older persons may never make a successful shift out of their traditional culture, religion or social class.
Particularly revealing is the notion that people socialized in an individualistic culture, such as America, Canada, the British Isles, Australia, New Zealand or Western Europe, have a demonstrably different social context for relating than people growing up in a collectivist type society. For instance, the extended family remains a major concern for persons growing up in such areas as rural China, Asia, Eastern Europe or India.
Rather than cherishing an improved career or making lifestyle improvements through geographic changes, as in individualistic cultures, extended family-oriented persons are unwilling to sacrifice traditional values of support, loyalty and social approval. For example, a partially acculturated wife who grew up with the expectation that she must cater to her culturally grieving mother’s unceasing demands will find her more successfully adapted husband very unsympathetic to such arrangements.
Multicultural and multiethnic couples get especially hung-up in the shift from early to later stages of their relationship, such as when they encounter the extended family. Let’s highlight one case. William, an American, had an uncle who served in World War II and had returned from that war profoundly impacted by years of internment in a Japanese prison camp. William’s implicit family rule of “never buy Japanese” proved to be a serious drawback for his new companion, Eve, a Japanese-American woman, who had suffered the indignities of living as a child in an American prison camp simply because she was Japanese. Eve experienced “hidden trauma” as she confronted the family’s prejudice and discrimination, contributing to her withdrawal, but William insisted they work out their difficulties. Through counseling, Eve and William developed a “big picture” of their situation, encouraging the extended family to leave their ethnocentrism behind. Now, family members even buy Japanese cars!
Social class differences can be nearly as disruptive as ethnic or racial distinctions. Take the situation of an Indian couple, one from a Brahmin family and the other from a middle class background. The authors portray how cultural differences in their parents’ cooking, gift giving, household décor or child rearing practices can readily upset a couple’s harmony.
"Mixed Blessings" is a fascinating and educational guide to understanding and healing couples’ relationships under pressure from ethnic, geographic, racial, social class and other cultural disparities. Not only do the authors provide incredibly lucid portraits of couples’ differences that make a difference, but they also indicate steps couples can take to minimize or eradicate apparent diversities.
I strongly recommend this book for its courageous leap forward to elucidate the “hidden culture” that separates and divides loving families and especially for the authors’ substantial skills in showing us the various ways of healing the breaches.
Travelers, educators and students going abroad, along with business people who want a better understanding of how to recognize and bridge cultural gaps would also benefit from reading "Mixed Blessings."
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Mixed Blessings A Guide to Multicultural and Multiethnic Relationships edition by Rhoda Berlin Harriet Cannon Health Fitness Dieting eBooks Reviews
I choose the rating because I loved the illustrations of the personal thoughts of the couples and then the response of the therapists and then more from the couples. It was definitely food for thought when you are working with a family that comes from different cultures of just different experiences of similar couples growing up in their families. It would be helpful for anyone working closely with couples or families to acknowledge differences and similarities. a great read!
Having always worked internationally, I often encounter cross-cultural issues, questions and challenges in my day to day professional life. I thoroughly love my exposure to different languages and cultures but usually attributed the complexity to working remotely and virtually, as well as not knowing enough about various cultures to which I was exposed. The examples and concepts in Mixed Blessings were eye openers for me and helped me appreciate important differences and their rationale which exist in everyday life, both at work and in my personal life. An easy and fun read that will leave you with a new outlook on the world around us.
This book is inviting and uncomplicated, concise yet comprehensive. Cannon and Berlin get right to the point by presenting a variety of factors which often surface and can temporarily stall, destabilize or limit the flow of potentially fruitful multicultural and multiethnic love relationships. Through handy and pertinent lists and graphics we are given the useful tools needed to help clients demystify, define and consider those factors, i.e., colliding or competing collectivist or individualist cultural perspectives, immigration trauma, acculturation complications and the pressures of varying developmental life stages, to name a few.
It has often been said that therapists learn the most from their clients. In this book we are blessed by many examples. Through engaging fictionalized vignettes drawn from their practice as psychotherapists, the authors illustrate how the differences, which initially spark attraction in couples, begin to feel in time when compounded by ordinary life, overwhelming and seemingly even insurmountable. In their own words, each partner (presumably in response to the skilled inquiry and psycho-educational prompting and facilitation demonstrated throughout the book) provides us with a window into their process of self discovery and increased empathy. Couples begins to slowly recognize and articulate their individual cultural values, biases and coping strategies as well as those of their significant other. These invaluable insights are presented from each partner's perspective under the heading, "What Has Helped", following each vignette.
The book goes a step further by providing a list of Life Priorities and Personal Qualities, Ethnic Heritage and Cultural Conversation Starters which therapists and couples alike can use to generate an enhanced discussion of individual differences and to further expand authentic communication. Also included are relevant and intriguing Culturegrams of several of the couples featured which aptly illustrate the efficacy of using this tool.
As a psychotherapist, I wholeheartedly recommend this book on a very complex but timely subject to both mental health practitioners and their clients, and am looking forward to future contributions by this authorship!
A lot of good things are packed into this book. The stories used to illustrate the challenges facing the culturally and ethnically diverse couples, used as examples in this book, really grabbed my attention. The universal themes, the truly heartfelt struggles, and the practical information presented make this book invaluable. I loved the mix of the theoretical, practical, and artfully presented stories. Lots of thought provoking ideas. Although written with the culturally diverse couple in mind, I recommend this book to all couples looking for ways to better communicate and deepen their relationship.
What genuinely makes a difference in a couple’s ability and willingness to nurture and maintain their relationship? Rhoda Berlin and Harriet Cannon, both highly insightful psychotherapists, address this significant question through a series of fictional case studies of multicultural and multiethnic couples.
Each couple’s story demonstrates a crucial concept, such as ethnocentrism, the belief that one’s own culture is always right; cultural universal, an element, pattern or institution that is common in some form to all human cultures, such as age-related roles; and acculturation, adapting to the patterns or customs of a new culture.
Other impediments to relationship harmony that are illustrated by the couples' case studies include cultural loss, the experience of moving out of one’s culture, social class or ethnic enclave resulting in a sense of estrangement; subculture, membership in an in-group within the majority culture, such as the military or a sorority; cultural grieving, the inability to overcome the loss from migrating to another country or marrying into a different type of family culture; cultural identity, the culture we identify with and feel as a “second skin;” and code switching, the ability to move fluently from one language and cultural context to another.
Children accomplish cultural shifts most easily, code switching from their family’s way of life to a new language or social mores within months. Middle-aged people tend to resist change, hanging on to their traditional lifeways. Older persons may never make a successful shift out of their traditional culture, religion or social class.
Particularly revealing is the notion that people socialized in an individualistic culture, such as America, Canada, the British Isles, Australia, New Zealand or Western Europe, have a demonstrably different social context for relating than people growing up in a collectivist type society. For instance, the extended family remains a major concern for persons growing up in such areas as rural China, Asia, Eastern Europe or India.
Rather than cherishing an improved career or making lifestyle improvements through geographic changes, as in individualistic cultures, extended family-oriented persons are unwilling to sacrifice traditional values of support, loyalty and social approval. For example, a partially acculturated wife who grew up with the expectation that she must cater to her culturally grieving mother’s unceasing demands will find her more successfully adapted husband very unsympathetic to such arrangements.
Multicultural and multiethnic couples get especially hung-up in the shift from early to later stages of their relationship, such as when they encounter the extended family. Let’s highlight one case. William, an American, had an uncle who served in World War II and had returned from that war profoundly impacted by years of internment in a Japanese prison camp. William’s implicit family rule of “never buy Japanese” proved to be a serious drawback for his new companion, Eve, a Japanese-American woman, who had suffered the indignities of living as a child in an American prison camp simply because she was Japanese. Eve experienced “hidden trauma” as she confronted the family’s prejudice and discrimination, contributing to her withdrawal, but William insisted they work out their difficulties. Through counseling, Eve and William developed a “big picture” of their situation, encouraging the extended family to leave their ethnocentrism behind. Now, family members even buy Japanese cars!
Social class differences can be nearly as disruptive as ethnic or racial distinctions. Take the situation of an Indian couple, one from a Brahmin family and the other from a middle class background. The authors portray how cultural differences in their parents’ cooking, gift giving, household décor or child rearing practices can readily upset a couple’s harmony.
"Mixed Blessings" is a fascinating and educational guide to understanding and healing couples’ relationships under pressure from ethnic, geographic, racial, social class and other cultural disparities. Not only do the authors provide incredibly lucid portraits of couples’ differences that make a difference, but they also indicate steps couples can take to minimize or eradicate apparent diversities.
I strongly recommend this book for its courageous leap forward to elucidate the “hidden culture” that separates and divides loving families and especially for the authors’ substantial skills in showing us the various ways of healing the breaches.
Travelers, educators and students going abroad, along with business people who want a better understanding of how to recognize and bridge cultural gaps would also benefit from reading "Mixed Blessings."
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